Here in the great big beautiful nothing.

Here alone with a heart yearning, ovaries aching.

The sea stretches on for days.

A coolness lifts my sin, pulling me outward.

My mind wanders in the lapping waters.

It is a utopia in which I am alone.

Here with tender, emotional, “simple” you.

Here with a woman your heart once yearned for

a desire you expressed in the car on the way over.

Now I sit listening to your laughter intertwined.

Watch your eyes dance and light as you talk.

You two with a history I can’t know.

Lakeside I sit listening, watching, feeling alone

in this great big beautiful nothing.

Self talk on jealousy, un-conditioning some of my conditioning.

Alone I sit writing out my yearning.

Sending it sailing on the great big beautiful nothing.