Here in the great big beautiful nothing.
Here alone with a heart yearning, ovaries aching.
The sea stretches on for days.
A coolness lifts my sin, pulling me outward.
My mind wanders in the lapping waters.
It is a utopia in which I am alone.
Here with tender, emotional, “simple” you.
Here with a woman your heart once yearned for
a desire you expressed in the car on the way over.
Now I sit listening to your laughter intertwined.
Watch your eyes dance and light as you talk.
You two with a history I can’t know.
Lakeside I sit listening, watching, feeling alone
in this great big beautiful nothing.
Self talk on jealousy, un-conditioning some of my conditioning.
Alone I sit writing out my yearning.
Sending it sailing on the great big beautiful nothing.