I’ve lost myself in this hot sick sweat,
allowed myself to be devoured– dinner for the dark.
Night after night, offering myself as sacrifice…
paralyzed in Hades persistence, his shadow ever-present.
And yet, in this desperate fever-pitch, I notice a glimmer from the tiny flecks embedded within the black velvet of his robe.
And while I cannot bear to look upon him, I can study these shimmering specks in this sea of dark.
I can adopt them as my very own golden girls,
name them each so we can all yell out from our respective boats, sing one another’s soothing song.
I can study how the light flickers and finds its way from that dark shadow-dance into these unexpected spaces, piercing the impenetrable hollows in soft speckles.
I can close my eyes and recall that same golden-white wave as it fell on the bridge of my nose and the whole of my belly once before.
I can remember being held in its womb, infinitely cradled in its warmth,
for a moment hovering safely above the endless velvet sea.